


Lead Us Not Into Temptation

by MagentasNightmare



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Love, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Merle Dixon and OFC smut, Merle is a sweetheart;), Teen Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-18 07:56:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11286978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagentasNightmare/pseuds/MagentasNightmare
Summary: Merle falls hard for a girl in high school is the opposite of him. He is the quarterback, she is a drama nerd, he gets bad grades, she is a straight-A student, he is very popular, she is bullied by the 'cool' kids. Still, Merle wants her from the start and so begins a beautiful love story...but circumstances with come into play that may ruin what they have found forever???This is an angsty story with teen love and smut. So much fun to write. lolI'll post a new chapter every Saturday along with "The Archer & The Widow"





	1. Chapter 1

_ **Lead Us Not Into Temptation** _

_ **Chapter 1** _

_ **Spring - 1960** _

Merle woke up early to avoid his father; the night before had been especially rough. A year or so and he'd be free, but at the moment he was 17 and trapped.

Daryl was the one on the receiving end of the rage the night before, and Merle hated that the most. His younger brother was a sensitive soul, and he hated to see him broken over and over. Merle had intervened as he always did and got a black eye for his troubles that he'd have to explain away to everyone at school as if they didn't already know.

They were the notorious Dixons, and everyone knew Virgil Dixon was an angry drunk.

"Come on, little brother!" he called down the stairs to Daryl in his basement bedroom.

"Coming!"

They grabbed some toast and orange juice, the milk had gone bad, and were out the door before the old man got up.

Merle's old Buick was nothing that a pretty girl would look twice at, but it got them to school.

Merle lit a hand-rolled cigarette and looked over at Daryl, who hadn't said more than two words.

"I'm sorry about last night," Merle sighed.

"What are you sorry for?" Daryl asked.

"I couldn't get him off of ya...I tried."

"Nobody can stop him when he goes off like that, don't worry about it."

"Someday I'll be big enough to put him in his place," Merle huffed.

He worked out after school and played on the football team at school, but he was still only 17 and had some filling out yet to do.

"Don't worry about it," Daryl repeated.

"I'm always gonna worry about it; I hate him more every time he hits you."

"What about you? You get it more than I do."

"I'm supposed to look out for you; I always promised mom I would."

Daryl leaned back against the seat and turned up the radio; he never wanted to talk about their mother. She had been troubled too, but she had loved them. The house fire that took their mother and their home was something they'd never outlive as a family. Their father still believed it was the stress of poverty and raising the two rambunctious boys that had driven her to drink the way she did. Nothing like blaming children for the death of their own mother.

Upon arriving at school, Daryl went off with his friends and reminded Merle not to let the old man get him down.

Daryl was still only 15, and as soon as Merle could, he was renting a place and getting him out of that house. He didn't make much working at the drive-in, but he saved every single penny.

/

The school day moved slow, and Merle was sitting in woodshop half bored out of his skull when he was called to the drama department over the intercom.

“What do those idiots want?” he scoffed to his buddies.

Merle put away the cabinet he was crafting and gathered his books, there was only an hour left in the day, and his thoughts were on the weekend.

He walked down the sunlit halls to the auditorium and wandered in presuming it was a mistake.

Mr. Horvath, the drama teacher, looked happy to see him.

“Merle!”

“Yeah?” he asked skeptically, looking around at the drama nerds he never spoke to.

He had nothing in common with smart kids who had futures.

“We need your help desperately. I heard from Mr. Taylor that you're the best young carpenter he has.

“I'm OK.”

“The set pieces we had for the play got wet in the spring flood, and we need them rebuilt. Is there any chance you could help us with that?”

“No problem. What do you need?” he asked.

Merle wasn't a joiner, and he couldn't care less about drama, but he was the type just to say yes when asked for help.

“Great! I'll get Mary to fill you in; she's our makeup expert and stage manager.”

“Sure,” he nodded, wondering who Mary was.

He was sent to the little room above the seats where the lights were controlled and knocked on the door.

He was greeted by a girl with thick glasses and pale skin who introduced herself to him with a sweet smile.

“I'm Mary,” she said, moving her black hair off her shoulders and reaching out her hand.

“Merle Dixon...I never seen you before.”

“Some of us don't stand out as much in this school,” she grinned.

He didn't know right off the hop what she meant so he shrugged his shoulders.

“What happened to your eye?” she asked with a look of great concern considering she didn't even know him.

“Football injury.”

“Oh, it looks sore.”

“I'm OK.”

She hadn't fallen for his story, he could tell by her expression, but she didn't push.

Mary called him closer and began explaining what they needed for the set design, and he took a couple of notes as he leaned in close to see what she was drawing. He noted that she was really good at drawing, he could tell exactly what they needed just from a quick sketch.

He was sure he would have noticed this girl if he saw her around, she looked different than the other girls. She didn't dress the way everyone else did. He looked her up and down as she rambled on and noted that her black skirt and black stockings revealed no hint of her body. She wore a thick red cardigan over her white blouse, although it was already warm enough to go without one. He found her fascinating to look at. It was pretty clear that she had some dangerous breasts under her sweater, but he tried not to focus on that.

“What?” she asked, evidently wondering what he was staring at.

“Ain't you hot in all that?” he asked.

“Oh...” she said, looking down at her clothing. “Not really.”

He shrugged again, and she asked him if he'd be able to build the sets.

“Sure. I'll have it done in a week or so, no problem. What play you guys doin' anyway?” he asked.

Merle wanted to talk to her more; he didn't really know why exactly, but he already liked being around her. Mary wasn't typically attractive, but he suspected it was mostly due to the way she dressed and maybe the thick glasses that distorted the look of her eyes. He found her attractive none the less, and he was even thinking of asking her out.

“Romeo and Juliette,” she answered. “It wouldn't be high school without that, would it?”

“Do you act too?”

“I auditioned, but they gave it to Sarah Foster, which makes sense. I knew it was pointless to memorize all of those lines,” she laughed and rolled her eyes as if she couldn't care less.

“Let's hear it,” he said.

He couldn't really explain it, but he wanted to hear what she had memorized.

“Do you really want to hear it?” she asked, adjusting her glasses on her nose and looking at him with a glint of hope in her pretty eyes.

“Go on,” he pressed. “You remembered it all so you may as well.”

Mary stood up and shook out her hands a couple of times and shifted around in the over-sized cardigan before speaking. When she did speak, she wasn't Mary anymore.

 

_**Thou know'st the mask of night is on my face,** _

_**Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek** _

_**For that which thou hast** _

_**heard me speak to-night** _

_**Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny** _

_**What I have spoke: but farewell compliment!** _

_**Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'** _

_**And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st,** _

_**Thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries** _

_**Then say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo,** _

_**If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully:** _

_**Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won,** _

_**I'll frown and be perverse an say thee nay,** _

_**So thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world.** _

_**In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond,** _

_**And therefore thou mayst** _

_**think my 'havior light:** _

_**But trust me, gentleman,** _

_**I'll prove more true** _

_**Than those that have more** _

_**cunning to be strange.** _

_**I should have been more strange,** _

_**I must confess,** _

_**But that thou overheard'st, ere I was ware,** _

_**My true love's passion: therefore pardon me,** _

_**And not impute this yielding to light love,** _

_**Which the dark night hath so discovered.** _

 

Merle just looked at her as she spoke and moved her hands, the expression on her face changing with the words. He had no idea what it was all about, he paid very little attention in English class, but the way she said these words moved him.

 

“They shoulda picked you...that was incredible. I don't know what the hell it was all about but, it was real pretty the way you said it.”

Mary smiled and turned a deep shade of red.

“You think so?”

“Damn right.”

“I don't really think I had the right look for it,” she shrugged. “Juliette is a classic beauty with good eyesight, my glasses would ruin the play, and I can't see without them.”

Merle didn't like any of this. He didn't like this sweet girl feeling bad about herself; he didn't like her talent being overlooked. She didn't look like the other girls, but there was something about her look that he really liked. Not to mention that for a guy who didn't give a shit about Shakespeare, she gave him goosebumps from just the little part she recited and Merle didn't even understand it.

“Your glasses are just fine, Mary. I think you're real pretty.”

“You're sweet, Merle. Thanks for saying that.”

She began to sort through some scripts, and he knew she didn't believe him, she thought it was a pity compliment. He'd show her.

“Mary?”

“Yes?”

“Did you wanna go to a movie with me tonight?”

“Me?”

She looked baffled, like she'd never been asked out before and as it turned out she hadn't.

“Yeah, why not?”

“You're the quarterback of the football team, and I'm...me.”

“What time should I pick you up?”

She shook her head at him like he'd lost his mind.

“Do you wanna go?” he pressed.

“...yes.”

Her voice was soft as though she might cry and he didn't get it.

“Then I need an address and a time, honey,” he teased.

“You swear this isn't a joke?”

“A joke? No! What are you even talkin' about?”

“Nothing,” she smiled.

She wrote down her address and told him that anytime after 6 pm was fine.

“See ya then,” he grinned and leaned in to kiss her cheek before leaving the little room above the auditorium.

Merle decided then and there that he'd show this girl a good time and make her feel good about herself; he was drawn to her, and he wanted to figure her out. Mary made him feel something very strong inside that he didn't recognize, and all he knew was that he wanted more of that feeling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. A Different Kind of Pretty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I screwed up and forgot to add that this story takes place in 1960. That's obviously important to the story but it's not apparent in the first chapter whereas it is more obvious in this chapter that it's not current times. I was going to add it under the first chapter title along with the location (you know what I mean, right? lol) but I forgot to put it in there. I am adding it now and hopefully, that'll fix it up. Sorry! lol  
> Thanks for reading.

_ **Chapter 2 –** _

_ **A different kind of pretty...^** _

 

“What are you up to tonight?” Daryl asked as he threw on a clean t-shirt and got ready to take off for the evening.

He spent as much time as possible with Rick's family and his girlfriend Carol to avoid Virgil's wrath. Their father wasn't happy unless he was taking out his misery on others.

“Gonna take a girl out to a movie.”

“Who?”

“Mary....don't know her last name yet,” he laughed.

“Mary Bainbridge?” Daryl asked.

“Fucked if I know. She's in the drama club,” Merle shrugged, searching through his pile of laundry for a clean shirt.

“Coke bottle glasses, and dresses like a senior citizen?” Daryl asked.

“Hey! Watch it!”

“That's the Mary you're taking out?”

“Yeah, she's really sweet, and she can remember stuff like a robot or something! She remembered this big long speech in Romeo and Juliette by heart, and that shit don't even sound like English to me,” he laughed.

“Didn't you go out with Sandra Benson a couple weeks ago?” Daryl inquired.

“Yeah, but I can't stand talking to that girl.”

“She's lead cheerleader, Merle. Who cares what you talk about?” Daryl laughed.

“I just like this girl...and she was feeling all bad about herself. She said she could never play Juliette in the play cause she wasn't pretty enough.”

“You asked her out for pity?”

“No. I don't like her feeling bad, but I wanna take her out cause she's different. I want someone I could talk to, and those drama people who get good grades are really smart. I bet she's good to talk to.”

“Just didn't think she was your type, you could have your pick of girls at our school.”

“Mary is a different kind of pretty; I'm into it.”

“I don't get it, but have fun,” Daryl chuckled.

Merle shook his head and said goodbye to Daryl when Rick pulled up outside to pick him up.

“Be home before midnight. Dad's out drinking, but he'll be pissed if you're not back by then.”

“Yeah.”

/

Merle put on his best jeans and his leather jacket to go out with Mary. He wondered if she'd wear those black stockings again or if he'd get to see her legs. There was something about not getting to picture her body at all by what she wore that he kinda liked, it was a tease.

He pulled up outside her house, and before he could get out to meet her at the door, she was walking down the path to his car.

She had on a dress that she obviously saved for church, and he thought it was very sweet. The dress went down past her knees and still had that granny quality to it, but her arms were bare, no cardigan this time. Her hair was French braided, and she was wearing a little makeup.

Merle got out to get the door for her, and she giggled like it had never happened before.

“Don't guys usually open your doors on a date?” he chuckled.

“I've never been on a date before.”

“Never?”

“No.”

“Then we should make this the best first date ever, what do ya say?”

“OK.”

She looked excited, and he loved that, he wanted to change her whole perspective in one night. He wanted her to see what he saw when he looked at her.

Merle took her to the diner where all the local teens hung out, and she looked apprehensive as he put the car in park.

“You OK?”

“Have you thought about what your friends will say?” she asked.

“About me and you?”

“They'll probably never let you hear the end of it.”

“Just cause you're one of the smart kids?”

“You're popular, so you've probably never been bullied, but high school is hard for people like me sometimes.”

“Who bullies you, Mary?”

Merle was ready to kick some ass; he just needed names.

“Lots of people.”

“Who? I'll set 'em straight for ya.”

“It doesn't matter. I just wonder if you're ready for what they might say.”

“I just wanna have a good time with you; they can go fuck themselves if they don't like it.”

Mary smiled at him and shook her head in disbelief.

“You're not like all the others,” she said softly.

“You neither; that's what I like so much,” he grinned. “Come on.”

/

He ordered onion rings and root beer floats and asked her what movie she'd like to see when they found a booth in the back.

“Anything you want,” she smiled.

Merle could see a few of his football buddies looking at him funny and was surprised anyone would care who he took out.

He was starting to see that there was a lot about high school society that he'd never really paid attention to.

Just as they were about to leave, she excused herself to 'powder her nose, makeup' and he waited for her as he checked the movie listings.

/

Mary checked her makeup in the mirror and hardly recognized her face with it on. She grabbed a tissue and wiped most of it off. He had asked her out without it on...maybe he actually liked her the way she was.

When she walked into one of the stalls to use the toilet she heard Sandra Benson and one of her friends gossiping. She wasn't surprised by the conversation.

“He's out with that dweeb. Can you believe it?” Sandra cackled.

“It's sad,” her friend responded.

“Quarterback or not, I'm going nowhere near him now! What a square!”

“You said it. What's he thinking?”

/

Merle opened the door for Mary when they got back to his car and she tried to push away the words of the cheerleaders in the bathroom.

“I sure do like that dress, honey,” Merle said, trying to provoke a smile out of her.

“Thanks, I made it myself.”

“You got all kinds of talents, huh?”

“A few, I suppose.”

“I bet you got lots of 'em. You're one of those girls who's gonna go on to university and be something really impressive.”

“You flatter me.”

“What kinda marks do you get in math?” he asked.

“I get As and I take all the advance math classes...cool, right?” she rolled her eyes.

“It is cool! It ain't cool to be a dumbass at math like me,” he insisted.

“I could help you if you wanted, I tutor people all the time.”

“Thanks, I'd sure appreciate it. Finals are comin' and I'm pissin' myself,” he laughed. “You wanna see something romantic or something scary?”

“Scary,” she winked.

“Psycho it is.”

/

Merle sat next to her as the movie played and he knew that she was a virgin just from looking at her. He wondered if she'd ever even been kissed properly before.

When he moved in closer to put his arm around her she looked right at him and bit her lip like it was some kind of foreplay.

“This OK?”

“It's nice...really nice,” she answered.

The movie went on but he couldn't take his eyes off of the funny awkward girl next to him, she was like a magnet to him.

Her eyes were glued to the screen as the killer approached the woman in the shower and he could feel the tension in her body.

The curtain was pulled back and the leading lady was murdered, making Mary jump and spill popcorn in her lap.

“I'm so sorry,” she began, grabbing the kernels from her lap to avoid getting them on his seats.

“I don't care about that. You OK, darlin'? You jumped right outta that church dress,” he snickered.

“Yeah, I'm OK,” she sighed. “I just didn't expect that.”

Merle began to pick up pieces of the popcorn from her lap and the moment stopped cold.

He looked up and her eyes were clear, even through the thick lenses.

He touched her cheek and she did something he'd never forget, even years later; she closed her eyes slowly and leaned her face into his hand like a dream.

This girl, with the coke bottle glasses, and the granny clothes was running away with his heart and he was more than OK with it.

“Anybody ever kissed you before, honey?”

“No.”

“Can I be the first?”

She just nodded her head and he could feel her nerves burning through her cheek into the palm of his hand.

Mary closed her eyes again as he approached her and the kiss was perfect. Her full lips were salty from the popcorn and he melted into her like she was surrounding him in warm light.

The kiss changed and her hand came up to take hold of his forearm, like she was afraid of floating away.

When he pulled back to look at her, she was smiling for a moment before opening her eyes.

“Damn,” she whispered.

“Good?”

“Perfect.”

“Go steady with me, Mary,” he said.

“This is only our first date...are you sure?”

“Yeah, I want you to be my girl.”

She nodded her head and she looked like Cinderella being swept off her feet by Prince Charming; he didn't really get it. He was just the son of a drunk who got crappy grades and would never amount to much while she was this sweet, smart girl with a bright future.

Merle took off his senior class pin and handed it to her like it was nothing. He'd never considered giving it to anyone else and he didn't care if he ever got it back, he just needed to see it pinned to that ugly, frumpy red sweater the next time she wore it. Merle wanted to claim her for his own before someone else realized how amazing she was and took her away.^

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. You make me nervous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to bump up posting this to 2 times a week because life has finally settled down a little. lol  
> Thanks so much for reading:) It's so appreciated.  
> Teagan xoxo

_ **Chapter 3-** _

_ **You Make Me Nervous...** _

 

Back at home that night, Merle undressed slowly and couldn't stop smiling. All he'd gotten were a couple of kisses, but that's all he wanted from her at the moment.

The way she was feeling everything so strongly made 'just kissing' feel like a bigger deal to him as well. Her hands were very faintly shaking as she touched him and he couldn't imagine any girl feeling so nervous over him, he was flattered.

She had sat in his car next to him staring at his class pin in her hand until he insisted on pinning it to her dress for her.

“I'm claiming you, like a caveman,” he had joked.

“How primitive,” she replied in a teasing voice.

Mary was sharp and funny, nothing like Sandra. A girl like Sandra was nice to look at, but there was nothing else there. Merle knew there were probably tons of women in the world who were traditionally beautiful and also clever but Sandra wasn't one of them.

Mary's look just did it for him, and as he lay in his boxers looking up at the light fixture in his ceiling, he fantasized about peeling off the many layers of her granny clothing.

He wanted to know what her panties looked like, they were probably hideous, but still, he couldn't wait to get to see them if he got that lucky. He wanted to make her feel beautiful; he wanted to make her moan.

Merle closed his eyes and could instantly feel her lips against his again. She had let out a little whimper when he pulled her into his arms, and it left him weak.

He let his hand venture south and soon he was stroking himself to the thought of her under him. It would take him ages to get there with her, and he knew it, but if and when they got there it would be like nothing else. He'd only ever been with one other girl, and it was only the once, she had decided she didn't want to risk pregnancy again, and they drifted apart. He wasn't overly experienced, but he definitely knew more than Mary did.

He wanted all of the beats in between anyway, not just sex. He wanted to get his hands under that white blouse, unfasten her bra, and take two nice big handfuls of her breasts. Those nice round tits that she kept hidden under her cardigan, he wanted to lay his face between them and kiss them all over.

His mind was swirling the vortex of the teenage masturbatory drain where he was already ravishing her in the dark recesses of his own mind.

Merle did respect her, and he meant it when he said he wanted her to be his steady girl, but this was just part of him; he needed to let off sexual steam.

His hand moved faster, and he created a mental scenario where she was pleading with him to take her. He had her stripped of all the clothing and was taking the glasses off her face to lay her down.

He imagined the warmth of her thighs around his waist and her threading her fingers through his hair; it was pushing him to the point of no return.

_Merle...touch me...just like that...come into me..._

Merle's imagination was second to none, and with those ghost words in his ear, he came all over his own belly like a total amateur, no rag within reach or anything.

/

Mary was busy with studying and church over the weekend but said she could see him again on Monday after school.

That Monday afternoon, he spent his spare period in the wood shop cutting out pieces of plywood for the drama department.

They needed a balcony, a castle, and a few other things like tree shapes and various other backgrounds. They would all be painted by students afterward, and when he was finished the balcony section, he took it straight to Mr. Horvath.

“Will that work?” he asked.

Merle wasn't the type to be buddy buddy with teachers, but Mr. Horvath seemed pretty nice.

“That's perfect! Thanks a lot, Merle.”

“Yep. I'll get back to work on the rest.”

Merle looked up to the room where he'd met Mary and couldn't see her through the lighting window.

“Mary around?” he asked.

“She'll be here right after school. Do you need something?”

“Nope.”

Merle returned after school to linger where she'd be and helped out with the drama students, rearranging heavy things for them.

“Hey,” she smiled when she came down from her lighting booth where she'd been doing script revision. She was in another shapeless dress, plaid and mid-calf length, but she looked great to him. Her hair was in two french braids, and she was wearing a baggy white cardigan on top with his pin on the lapel. He loved the look of his pin on her clothing.

“Hey there, honey,” he grinned, bending down to hug her in front of all her drama friends. “Can I still see you after school?”

“Sure, my mom won't be home until 9...you could come over if you want.”

“Sounds good to me.”

He squeezed her hand and smiled again before returning to the wood shop to finish the sets.

“What's going on with you?” Eugene asked, looking lost with what he'd just witnessed.

Eugene was a good friend to Mary; he was another kid who received bullying and ridicule.

“He asked me to a movie, and then he asked me to go steady,” she grinned. “Isn't he dreamy?”

“Be careful with him,” Eugene warned.

“Why?”

“Boys like him only want one thing.”

“You don't think he really likes me?”

“I'm just saying be careful. I don't want you to get taken advantage of.”

“You're wrong about him, Eugene, but thanks for your concern.”

“I hope I am wrong...you look kinda cute together.”

“Merle is different than the others...he's not like anyone I ever met.”

“Puppy love,” Eugene chuckled.

/

Merle waited for her in the student parking lot and was finally interrogated by his football buddies.

“I just like her, leave me alone!” he defended when they had swarmed him with questions.

“It's your dick, man, but I would touch her,” one of them laughed.

“I said I like her, you moron! I'm not just trying to get her in bed!”

“She's a dork; you'd never get her out of her old lady dresses anyway.”

“She's actually really cool and funny. Get lost! She's coming!” he shot back; he wanted them to stay far away from her.

Mary walked slowly over to his car and watched as his friends wandered off, looking at her funny.

“Hey, you still wanna hang out?” he asked with a big smile.

He hated her looking so apprehensive; he'd have to chase all her doubts away again, but he didn't mind one bit.

“Sure...things OK?”

“It's fine. Come on, honey.”

/

Back at Mary's house, she didn't quite know how to act; she'd never had a boy in her house alone before.

“So...what did you want to do?” she asked.

“Anything. We could play a record or study, or talk or...kiss?” he grinned. “Anything you want, honey.”

Mary just looked at the gorgeous boy before her and couldn't believe it was her that he was eager to spend time with. She wondered where he'd been all her life.

“You make me nervous,” she confessed.

“Good nervous or bad nervous?” he asked.

“Good nervous.”

“I don't expect nothin' from you, honey if that's what you're thinkin'.”

“My friend Eugene says you only want one thing from me.”

“That's insulting to both of us. I'm not some kind of dirtbag, and you have a hell of a lot more to offer than just your body. Good grief!”

Mary just smiled, he really wasn't like anyone else.

“I told him he was wrong about you.”

“I'm not gonna pretend I just wanna be your friend, Mary. I am attracted to you, but that's not all I want.”

“I believe you...I have some records in my room if you wanted to come,” she said softly.

He wasn't about to push a damn thing with her, but the way she shyly invited him to her bedroom made him think of laying her out on the bed and kissing her everywhere.

“Sure.”

He sat on her floor and flipped through her records before settling on Brenda Lee cause it seemed like music a girl would be into.

Mary sat down on her bed and watched him as he put the record on her turntable; she found herself feeling something she never had before...lust.

 

> _**Alone, so alone that I could cry** _
> 
>  
> 
> _**I want to be wanted** _
> 
> _**Alone, watching lovers passing by** _
> 
> _**I want to be wanted** _
> 
> _**When I am kissed** _
> 
> _**I want his lips to really kiss me** _
> 
> _**When we're apart** _
> 
> _**I want his heart to really miss me** _
> 
> _**I want to know he loves me, so his eyes are misty** _
> 
> _**That's the way; I want to be loved** _
> 
> __
> 
> _**Alone, just my lonely heart knows how** _
> 
> _**I want to be wanted, right now** _
> 
> _**Not tomorrow, but right now** _
> 
> _**I want to be wanted** _
> 
> __
> 
> **_I want someone to share my laughter and my tears with  
>  _**
> 
> **_Someone I know I'd love to spend a million years with  
>  _ **
> 
> **_Where is this someone somewhere meant for me?_ **

 

“This song is OK actually,” he noted.

“Merle?”

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me.”

Her eyes were so suggestive, and he could feel the tension in her body as she sat on the edge of the bed wringing her hands nervously. Merle wanted everything from her all at once, but he'd settle for kisses...and perhaps some light petting.

This girl controlled him, body and soul, already; Merle was her puppy and knew he always would be as he was pulled into her orbit.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. I'll Give You Everything I Have...

_ **Chapter 4** _

_ **I'll give you everything I have...** _

 

Merle moved closer from his position at her feet to kiss her softly. Somehow it was more exciting to kiss Mary than any other girl; she made him feel nervous inside too. The kiss ended with him laying his head in her lap to think; she was overwhelming to him.

“It feels like I'm dreaming all of this...it doesn't feel real,” she said, and she lay her hands on his hair.

“It's real alright,” he smiled.

“I never saw anyone like you coming into my life. I didn't expect to date anyone in high school.”

Her mind was full of doubts, and he wanted to chase every one of them away.

“Mary, you gotta know that all of this outside bullshit don't matter to me. Things at home are pretty bad, always have been, so all this school popularity shit isn't something I care about.”

“What's wrong at home?”

“My dad is a drunk; he beats me and Daryl when he feels like it, and my mom is dead...she set the house on fire when she was passed out. I was only 10 at the time.”

“I'm so sorry, Merle.”

“It's OK.”

“I knew it wasn't a football injury.”

“Nope.”

“I hate that your life at home is like that for you, Merle, you deserve so much more.”

Nobody had ever expressed sympathy to him about his home life. He had never opened up to anyone about it, not even his friends. Merle had a feeling that she understood bullies, though.

“My dad was killed in Korea, so it's just my mom and me and she works a lot. She has a boyfriend that lives out of state, but I'm not crazy about him. He keeps hassling her to move to New York, but she won't budge unless he proposes.”

"Do you think he will?" Merle asked, suddenly concerned at the prospect of her leaving Georgia.

"It's been three years now, and he keeps avoiding marriage, so I'm just crossing my fingers that it'll stay that way."

“So you're alone a lot. Is that why you study so much?” he asked.

“That's part of it. I spend hours alone here, so I have to do something productive.”

“Do you get lonely, honey?”

“Yes.”

Merle wrapped his arms around her waist and squirmed between her legs to get closer. He could feel her thighs tremble against the sides of his chest and it gave him a strange thrill as she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Good nervous?” he asked.

“Very good.”

Mary was overcome with a hot, needy feeling inside as she slid closer to the edge of the bed and he pulled her in tighter and tighter with his strong arms.

Awkwardly, but perfectly, her bottom slid off the edge of the bed, and she sank down slowly into his lap with her knees coming to rest on the carpet on either side of his thighs.

He held her close, kissed her hard, and she moaned against his mouth. They both became out of breath rapidly, and he could feel himself getting hopelessly hard with her squirming on his lap.

Her kiss was clumsy, but he couldn't care less, it was her kiss, and that's all that mattered.

“I want you, Mary...I want you so bad,” he confessed before he could catch himself.

She paused for a moment, and he explained that he didn't mean that he wanted to have sex with her right then and there.

“I'm just blurting shit out, sorry.”

“It's OK...just nobody ever said anything like that to me before,” she smiled.

“I can't stop thinking about you, Mary...especially at night and it's all stuff I shouldn't be thinkin'.”

“I think about you too,” she whispered.

Merle moved her black hair off her neck and kissed her skin softly, moving from her collar bone to her ear.

“I can feel your kiss everywhere,” she moaned.

“Tell me what you were thinking about,” he begged.

“I...I was thinking about your body, I was thinking about touching you.”

“Me too,” he growled.

She rolled her hips on his lap, and he hissed at the pressure of her on his throbbing cock.

“You OK?” she asked.

“I'm good; you're just makin' me so hard.”

“I am?”

“Yeah, can't you feel it?”

She moved again, and her thighs tightened against his hips as she came to discover the new sensation. He heard her moan then and she moved her face in close to kiss his neck with warm wet lips.

“Oh...Mary, that's so good,” he groaned. “I just wanna be yours.”

/

“What are you doing to me?” she sighed, holding his mouth to her throat desperately.

“Whatever it is, you're doing it right back to me, honey,” he whispered into her ear.

Merle Dixon made her want to strip naked and dance among the flames of sin like a brazen devil. Mary didn't even know she wanted this until he touched her.

Mary imagined him taking off his clothes, she imagined seeing his body, and she wanted him so badly even though a big part of her was scared as well.

Mary felt his hands come to rest on her calves as she kissed him and they crept slowly up to her knees. She felt a slippery sensation in her beige panties and knew that it meant her body was in need of him. Mary knew about sex from listening to girls in the locker room at school and from erotic books she liked to read in secret, but she'd never done any of this herself.

Merle's hands reached the tops of her outer thighs under her dress, and the pressure of his hardness against her panties made her feel like she was going to come apart. His big hands squeezed her thighs, and she could feel the fire rising up inside her.

“I think...I think I'm gonna...”

She knew she was going to succumb to the heat and she couldn't stop it. The movement of her body against him, even without skin on skin contact was getting her there.

“It's OK,” he murmured, his hands coming to rest on the ass of her ugly silk panties.

He panted into her neck as he felt her body tense up and he was close himself. Just imagining the warm wetness of his girl's forbidden areas and the way she was so aroused made him ache.

“Oh...Oh, my Lord!”

She clung to him around his neck and shuddered in his arms as it washed over her. She was breathing heavy, and he never wanted to fuck anyone so badly in all of his life.

“That's right, honey....feel good?” he moaned, feeling his own peak resting just beyond his reach.

Merle knew he'd have to take care of himself in her bathroom or suffer until he got home but he didn't care.

“Damn it...that's so embarrassing,” she said once she floated back to earth.

“Don't be ridiculous, that was hot as hell.”

Mary bit her lip, and he snuggled his face into her neck.

“You make me want things I've never wanted before, Merle.”

“You got me, Mary. I'll give you everything I have...you're my girl, right?” he smiled, running his fingers over the pin on her sweater.

“Yes...I'm all yours, but-”

“But what?” he asked.

“I'm scared by what I want to do with you...I don't know if I'm ready.”

“I'll wait, I don't mind at all,” he insisted.

“Have you ever...”

“Only once...and I regret it.”

Mary slipped off of his lap, and he caught a quick glimpse of her panties. They were so ugly that he wanted to rip them off of her.

“Not cute, I know,” she blushed when she noticed his eyes peering under her skirt.

“I ain't gonna lie,” he laughed. “Those panties aren't worthy of you at all, honey.”

Mary laughed and decided that she needed to invest in nicer underthings, her bra was pretty ugly too. She never expected anyone to see her underwear, so it seemed pointless to waste money on them.

She sat next to him beside her bed, but she still held onto his hand and fidgeted with his thumbnail.

“Why did you only do it once?”

“I didn't have feelings for her, and she didn't really like me either, it ain't supposed to be like that.”

“You'd really wait for me?”

“You wanna wait till marriage?” he asked.

“I don't think so. I just want to wait until I'm not so nervous about it. I never did any of this before.”

“That's fine, I'm not looking to get into your panties in the first week,” he laughed. “I'll wait as long as you want.”

Mary was still a little afraid of boring him, so she decided to mention that not everything was off the table. There were some things she did want to try sooner that weren't actual sex.

“There are other things we could do though, right?”

“Oh yeah, lots of things.”

“Tell me something you've done,” she grinned.

“Like makin' out?” he asked.

“Yes.”

He didn't know how to say this stuff to a girl he liked. Telling his buddies had been nothing but telling a girl was different.

“You won't think less of me?” he checked.

Mary shook her head with a sly grin, “Tell me.”

“I...touched girls before, like under their shirts and other places.”

She looked very turned on by his words, and he still wanted to jump her, but wouldn't dream of actually doing it. Mary came in close and kissed him again, her hand on his thigh and her heart in her throat.

“Tell me more.”

Merle pulled her down and lay her on the carpet; he wanted to drown in her. He was finding it harder by the second to resist trying to push for more.

“Tell me something more,” she repeated breathlessly, and he proceeded to whisper something a little naughtier into her ear.

“Oh my god!” she giggled.

“Too much?” he grinned.

“That's what you want?”

“Someday...but no pressure.”

“You're a very bad boy,” she smirked.

“You don't know the half of it, honey.”

/

When he left, it was 8:30 and her mother would be home soon.

Mary took a shower and stood before the bathroom mirror before getting dressed and stared at her body.

Her wide hips, her flat but soft belly, her full white breasts...she wondered what Merle would think. She had seen the bodies of other girls in the locker room, and their bodies were different, she felt more developed than most of them.

She had been hiding the curves of her body and the size of her DD breasts for a long time, anything to reduce drawing the attention of bullies...but what would Merle think of her body?

She pulled on her floral nightgown and crawled into her bed to read, awaiting the sound of her mother's keys in the door.

Merle's whispered words floated through her mind, and she felt her cheeks begin to burn and her body seething with need.

> **_I wanna kiss you all over your body; I wanna strip off those ugly panties and kiss you down there till you cry out for more._ **
> 
>  
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. "Mary! Are You Coming?"

_ **Chapter 5** _

_** “ Mary! Are you coming?” ** _

  
  
The next week was great for Merle. He'd pick Mary up in the morning, sit with her at lunch, and see her every evening that he could.  
  
He worked at the drive-in a few nights a week but all his extra time was for her. His dad got rowdy about him doing less around the house, and he got pushy one night over the lawn not being mowed, but Merle didn't care as much about that shit. His dad's rage was an annoyance, and Merle knew that soon he'd be turning the tables on him; he wasn't going to take it much longer.  
  
Mary helped him with math, and he actually started to understand some of the algebra formulas that had baffled him before. It made all the difference that he wasn't afraid to ask her what he thought were silly questions cause he knew she wouldn't laugh. Merle was too scared of looking stupid to raise his hand in class, but Mary would never think less of him, and he knew it. She told him he could do anything with his life, that he was capable of so much more than he thought, and he believed it just because she said it. Nobody ever encouraged him before, and he liked the feeling that someone like her believed in him.  
  
Merle was already sure that Mary was the girl he wanted to marry someday. It did concern him that she could find a better boyfriend in university, though. He knew she'd have more mature guys around who'd be able to see how amazing she was. Most high school boys just couldn't see it yet, they were too immature, but university guys would likely see how incredible she was. He worried already that some smart, handsome guy would take her away from him.  
  
/  
  
The set pieces were all completed a week later and opening night for the play arrived with last minute preparations taking up most of Mary's attention. Merle went along to support Mary, who was running the show from behind the scenes.  
  
“The sets look great,” she smiled. “You did such a good job.”  
  
“Thanks. The play is gonna be good...even if it's gibberish to me. If they didn't have you runnin' the show, they'd all be runnin' around like headless chickens,” he winked.  
  
She shrugged her shoulders modestly and took his hand as the curtains were closed and the show began. Opening night went off without a hitch except that 'Juliette' forgot her lines twice until Mary saved her from the wings whispering the words to her.  
  
The second night of the play began as a disaster when their 'Juliette' came down with food poisoning a few hours before showtime. Mr. Horvath paced back and forth in a tizzy as Mary left to handle another issue elsewhere.

“What's the problem anyway?” Merle asked. “Mary can do it.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“She knows all the lines by heart; she should have gotten the part in the first damn place.”  
  
“I didn't run the auditions, Merle. I didn't even know she tried out,” Mr. Horvath explained.  
  
“Oh. Well, she can do it...but she's not confident about it.”  
  
“Why not? You said she knows the lines.”  
  
“She doesn't think she has the right look for it. I been tellin' her since I first met her how beautiful she is...maybe she believes it now.”  
  
“You two are a bit of an odd couple,” Mr. Horvath noted.  
  
“To everyone else maybe. To me we make complete sense,” Merle said. “I'm gonna marry her someday.”  
  
“She's lucky to have you, Merle.”  
  
“Nah, you got that backward,” he smiled.  
  
/  
  
Backstage, Mary was losing her mind trying to find someone to replace Sarah when Mr. Horvath explained that they'd have to cancel the play unless she was willing to fill in; nobody else knew the part.  
  
“Merle says you know all the lines, Mary. We'd really appreciate you stepping in...please.”  
  
“OK.”  
  
"Run over to hair and makeup, and you'll find your dress in the 3rd dressing room."  
  
"OK."  
  
"Thank you, Mary."  
  
Merle found Mary in the dressing room 15 minutes later trying to squeeze her breasts into the dress with not much luck. Her makeup and hair were done, but the dress was not designed for DD breasts.  
  
“It's hopeless!” she groaned. “What am I gonna do?”  
  
Merle watched with fascination as she huffed and puffed and tried to get the zipper up the side of her chest. The dress fit perfectly everywhere else except for her bust, which was almost overflowing and leaving Merle desperately hard.  
  
“Merle....Merle......Merle!”  
  
He was just staring at her breasts and in a complete daze when he realized she'd been speaking to him.  
  
“Sorry, honey. You got some safety pins or something?”  
  
“Probably...there's all kinds of junk back here.”  
  
She went through some drama department drawers and found some string, safety pins and random odds and ends.  
  
“Put your arms up,” Merle insisted as he patched up the dress under her arm with safety pins and string and a piece of spare material to fill in the gap.  
  
He looked at what he'd done and asked her to move around to be sure it would stay. Mary looked in the mirror and grinned.  
  
“You did it! You can hardly even tell!”  
  
“I can be pretty useful, huh?”  
  
“You're my hero...is this too much?” she asked, looking down at her ample cleavage. “People are gonna talk-”  
  
“You look beautiful, you know the lines, and you're gonna be the best damn Juliette around,” he proclaimed, taking her by the shoulders and looking right into her eyes.  
  
“I want to tell you something...but I'm scared,” she murmured.  
  
“Don't be scared of anything with me, honey. Tell me.”  
  
“I love you. You came out of nowhere and changed everything...and I'm so happy with you.”  
  
“You weren't supposed to say it first,” he winked.  
  
Merle took her in his arms and pressed her to the wall of the dressing room, and it was all fireworks and teen passion. The huge dress made it hard to get close, but he kissed down her neck to her tempting cleavage instead. She held him close, and her breath was ragged as he kissed the soft white mounds of her breasts as they tried to escape the confines of the corset.  
  
“I have to be down there in twenty minutes,” she panted as he began to wrestle with the layers of crinoline to get to her legs.  
  
“That's plenty of time...I want to touch you.”  
  
Her mind went blank, and she realized that she wanted him to touch her as well, she needed it.  
  
“OK.”  
  
With one of his hands behind her head and the other grazing the elastic around the waist of her panties, Mary was seeing stars. Merle whispered sexy nothings into her ear as his hand slid inside her panties and she could feel her body responding to him with abandon.  
  
“You look so hot, honey...I wanna make you feel good...open your leg a little and lemme touch you...I promise it'll feel good.”  
  
“Your filthy mouth will be the end of me,” she whined as she felt his fingertips move over her already wet lips.  
  
“Jesus...that's what I'm talkin' about,” he groaned as his fingers slid easily between the folds.  
  
She clung to him and pulled her right leg up and open to allow him access to her pleasure center. With anyone else, she would have been terrified, but she trusted Merle to be gentle and to stop the second she wasn't into it. He was breathing hard and running his tongue along her earlobe as his fingertips began to trace small, sleepy circles around her clit, and her mind felt fuzzy.  
  
“I want you, Merle. I want you to be my first.”  
  
“I wanna be your first lover and your only one. When you're ready, honey, I'll be anything you need.”  
  
Her eyes closed and then she felt his finger slip inside her.  
  
“You good?” he asked as she hissed in pleasure and pulled him even closer.  
  
“Don't stop,” she moaned.  
  
Merle teased her and kissed her hard, trying not to think about ripping off her panties and fucking her against the wall. She was close, so he continued fingering her slow and gentle followed by those slow wet circles around her clit.  
  
Mary's hand moved out of nowhere to the front of his jeans, and she groped him desperately as she teetered on the edge of heaven. Merle felt the need and aggression in her touch, and he wanted to give her everything he had for the rest of his life.  
  
“You almost there, honey?” he asked when he realized she'd have to get going soon.

"Say something dirty,” she whined, and he was stunned and delighted by her filthy mind.  
  
“I wanna taste you so bad,” he whispered.  
  
“...ok.”  
  
“Yeah?” he grinned.  
  
“Hurry.”  
  
Merle dropped to his knees and ripped her panties down her legs to her ankles where she lifted one high heel to step out of them.  
  
He ducked under the many layers of her costume and pulled her right leg over his shoulder.  
  
Mary was trembling with nerves and arousal, and when his kiss began to approach her most intimate area, she felt like she was going to melt down the wall.  
  
His tongue licked slow and wet from her entrance to her clit, and she gasped and covered her mouth to silence her cries of pleasure.  
  
Merle loved the taste of her, salty and sweet heaven in every drop of her desire, but he knew they had to get moving. He turned the fires up to 10 and slid a single finger inside her as he closed his lips around her clit.  
  
Right on schedule, she stiffened and then whined at the top of her lungs. Merle gripped her thighs and drank all of her juices hungrily till she almost collapsed in a heap of exhaustion and release.  
  
“Mary! Are you coming?”  
  
She was being called to the stage and raced to pull up her panties and check her hair once more.  
  
“You're gonna be perfect, honey,” Merle insisted, kissing her quickly before she had to run off. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” she smiled before turning to get to the stage.  
  
/  
  
Mary was perfect. Merle watched from the front row and barely understood the bulk of the play...but Mary was perfect. All the nuance, emotion, and power in her performance left him riveted despite not understanding all the language.  
  
He didn't even mind watching her kiss the guy playing Romeo; Merle knew that her heart was his and that nothing would change that. Mary was his girl, and everything was perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. I Dreamed of You Again Last Night

_ **Chapter 6** _

_ **I Dreamed of You Again Last Night** _

Merle met Mary's mother briefly here and there when he'd pick her up and drop her off, and he knew she wasn't crazy about him. He could tell by the way she spoke to him, but he planned to win her over in time. Once she saw that he was serious about Mary she was sure to give in he figured. Maybe she was just concerned for her daughter, and Merle could understand that.

Merle asked Mary to the Spring Fling dance two weeks after the play, and she was excited, he could see it in her eyes.

“I'll make something pretty to wear, you just wait.”

“That won't be hard; you look pretty in everything, honey.”

“You're a sweet-talker,” she grinned. “I know I don't dress nicely.”

“Can I ask you something without you taking it wrong?”

“I'll try not to,” she chuckled.

“I like how you look. I ain't asking you to change nothing, but...why do you hide your body under so many layers?”

Mary smiled like she'd been expecting the question for a while.

“I don't like to draw attention to myself. I don't want the popular crowd to notice me if I can help it. It's just easier that way.”

“That's fair. You wear what you like, honey. I like your style.”

“Where did you come from, Merle Dixon?” she asked softly, her voice full of emotion.

Mary planned then to make a dress that would be unapologetic and show him what her body was really all about. The costume from the play had been a step out of her comfort zone, so she was feeling more brave. She wanted to look beautiful with him, to show off who they were proudly to the whole school.

/

Things seemed to settle down at school when people got used to them constantly being together and cuddling like love birds all the time. Merle got teased about her sometimes, but he put them all in their place without much of a thought; he really couldn't care less about anyone's opinion.

Mary's mother worked almost every day until 9 pm at her second job so that was the time they'd spend in Mary's room exploring each other's bodies, it was a beautiful time.

On a rainy afternoon a week before the dance, Merle drove her home, and she pulled him to her bedroom the second the door closed.

“Hell, woman!” he chuckled.

“I was thinking about you all day,” she panted, taking off her glasses that were splattered with rain and leaving them on the kitchen table.

He was backed through the doorway of her room, and her hands traveled all over his body with lusty aggression.

“I dreamed of you again last night,” she whispered between kisses.

“I'm officially a dream boat?” he laughed.

“You're my dream man,” she smiled, and he loved how she was never bashful at telling him how much she thought of him.

Mary boosted his confidence daily, and he was starting to believe he really was worth more than he thought.

Merle tried to piece together what she wanted exactly. He needed to know how far to take it.

Soon they were on the bed, and she was tearing at the buttons of her own dress.

Touching her skin was a privilege; he loved that she allowed him to be the one to please her. They had some pretty intense make out sessions, and he knew it was going faster than she originally planned, but it all felt so right. He had a feeling it wouldn't be long before they crossed the line completely.

She was grabby and flustered with him, holding his mouth to hers with all her might. Merle knew that she was ready for more and he was excited to see what she liked. She was pulling her dress open to reveal a bra that surprised him.

“I can't believe it's not beige,” he winked.

Apparently, she had invested in new underwear, and her black lace bra was a sinful sight. Her huge breasts always looked like they were planning an escape and it made Merle wild with desire for her.

“Touch me,” she whispered in a sexy, breathy voice that he couldn't resist.

/

Merle pulled the strap of her dress from her shoulder and bit at her collarbone with his hot open mouth, making her hiss aloud as goose bumps spread all over her flesh.

The dress was soon tossed onto her bedroom floor, and he was working on the clasp at the back of her bra with one hand.

His eyes moved over her body, and she watched for his reaction; he appeared to be wildly turned on. Mary couldn't believe she felt so comfortable with him; she just knew that he'd be kind to her.

“I knew you'd be fuckin' perfect under all those clothes.”

So far, their make out sessions had occurred with only hands groping underneath clothing, so this was the first clear picture he was getting of the girl he loved. Merle hadn't been able to see very much under her skirt at the play, and he sure wanted to see her now.

“You really think so?”

“You kidding?” he chuckled, running his hand up and down the curve of her waist all the way to her hip. “You got curves in all the right places, honey. You're perfect.”

Merle unfastened her bra and slowly slid the strap from her shoulder, kissing and licking as he moved. He couldn't wait to finally see properly what he'd been groping at under her shirt. By the time her bra was dismissed to the floor, she was breathing heavy, and he was kissing from her neck to the space between her breasts.

“Oh my God,” she repeated as he took a handful of her ample breast and began to kiss closer and closer to her nipple.

“I'm gonna be good to you, honey...I'll always be good to you,” he panted.

She'd heard about all of this stuff at school, but never really imagined it happening to her. Merle was still a dream to her, but it was reinforced that he really loved her every time he kissed her in front of his friends like it was nothing at all.

/

Merle could not believe her body; he knew it would be nice, but it was so much more amazing than he even pictured in his mind. She had full legs and hips, soft, smooth skin and massive breasts like he'd never seen before.

Merle got greedy and excited as any 17-year-old male would and kinda dove in head first, licking his way to her nipples and then sucking nice and soft.

She moaned under him and held him to her body with her fingers raking through his curls.

“That's so...oh Christ it's good!” she whined.

Merle held her arms out to the side and moved from one perfect mound to the next as she entangled him between her soft thighs. Her black panties made him ache inside to possess her in every way imaginable as he devoured her skin with his hungry mouth.

She didn't seem nervous at all, and that was nice, he never wanted to make her uncomfortable.

/

Mary wanted his touch even lower, but first, she wanted to touch him back.

She reached down and began to pull at his belt to get to his skin. He seemed apprehensive to show himself to her, but he didn't stop her as she urged his pants open and then down. Almost everything they'd done so far was focused on her, and he didn't mind at all, she was still new to all of it.

Mary stopped kissing him long enough to look down at his body and was stunned by how much she liked it. Part of her thought it would be terrifying and although she was nervous, it was sexy as hell. He was hard and huge, and she licked her lips slowly as her hand closed around his dick.

“Oh fuuuuuck!” he groaned, dropping his head to her shoulder in weakened abandon.

“Like that?” she giggled as she moved her closed hand slowly up and down his length.

“I love that, honey.”

Mary continued to work his dick in her hand in the manner she'd heard about in the girl's locker room.

 

_**~ I jerked him off in the back of the car at the drive-in...he almost came all over my new dress!** _

_**~ Slut!** _

_**~ Fuck you! Just cause you can't get Jimmy off doesn't mean I'm a slut.** _

_**~ What's your secret?** _

_**~ Don't squeeze too hard and just keep jerking it up and down till he blows. A little spit on your hand doesn't hurt either.** _

_**~ Get lost, Scary Mary! This kind of conversation doesn't concern the likes of you!  
~ I'm just changing...I'm not listening.** _

_**~ I said get lost, nerd!** _

 

Now it definitely did concern her, and she was making her man lose his mind like she actually knew what she was doing.

/

Merle couldn't hold back anymore; he needed an exit strategy.

“Do you have...like a towel or something?” he panted.

“Uh...”

She looked around but it was much too late, he had the self-control of a typical teenager and unceremoniously came all over her panties.

“Damn it! Sorry, honey.”

Mary looked up at his face and thankfully wasn't disgusted with him.

“It's OK,” she smiled as she slid her panties down her thighs and then sat up to toss them in the laundry hamper.

“Jesus H. Christ, Mary...”

“Come here,” she smiled, pulling him back to her.

He kissed her neck and face as his hands roamed around her body. She wanted his touch in the worst way, and when he finally did settle his sexy, strong hand on her knee, she knew it was coming.

Inch by inch it was like torture for her.

“Hurry,” she pleaded, and he smirked down at her.

“I know what you really need,” he growled.

“Yes...I need it again...”

Merle parted her knees and slid his arms under her thighs to hold the sides of her waist, and she closed her eyes to take in every sensation. His warm wet lips on hers, the tight grip of his hands on her waist, the way he moaned when his mouth was pressed to her womanhood.

“I....oh my lord, I can't take it!” she insisted.

Her legs started off stiff and clenched against his shoulders, but very quickly she was letting them fall open on the quilt and begging for more.

Merle teased her lips apart like the petals of a flower and traced her inner labia with his tongue.

Mary could see stars. Merle could make the firmament open up and reality close in on itself; his kiss was blinding when it reached the apex of her thighs. He made her feel like a beautiful woman, like she was as desirable as the pretty girls at school...Merle made her feel complete.

“Cum for me, honey...I wanna taste it,” he urged.

His voice was the most devilish sound, and it commanded her body so well.

The first lick of flames stirred deep inside her and were stroked by the tip of his finger, daring them to envelope her in fire.

“Oh, Merle...oh my God...”

He flicked his tongue over the pleasure center of nerves tucked between her lips, and she groaned as she fell under his spell for life.

Mary knew that sooner, rather than later, she'd be making love to him and that she'd never regret it.

Both hands pulled his hair, and she gave into him with every cell in her being. Mary would never give in to anyone else the way she did to Merle Dixon...

 

 

 

 


	7. Will You Make Love To Me Tonight?

_ **Chapter 7** _

_ **Will you make love to me tonight?** _

 

“Things still going good with Mary?” Daryl asked when he found Merle ironing his dress shirt for the dance.

“Yep. People finally stopped pestering me about her so much,” he sighed. “Those idiots really need to get a life. She's my girl, and that's all there is to it.”

The dance was only an hour away, and Merle still hadn't been allowed to see Mary's dress. She did reveal that it was red, so he at least knew what color corsage to buy, but that's all he was getting.

“What does Carol's dress look like?” Merle asked.

“Really pretty, it's light purple and flowy kinda material, she looks like a total dream in it,” he winked. “Tell me your girl ain't wearing her granny stuff to the dance.”

“Don't be a dick.”

“Sorry, I'm only teasing. She must be pretty special if she makes you smile this much.”

“Dad has been raging all damn week, and I can't stop fucking smiling. He can bitch all he wants to, and it don't even bring me down now,” Merle laughed. “As long as I got her, I don't give a shit about anything else.”

“I'm just glad you're happy, Merle.”

“I never been this happy before. Being with Mary makes everything better, she gets me, and I get her.”

“Sounds nice.”

“I didn't believe in all this love bullshit till I met her, but now I know it's all true.”

“Awwwww! Well, ain't that nice?” Daryl teased.

“Shut up,” Merle laughed.

/

Merle drove to Mary's house in the dark gray suit that he had to wear for football away games. Her mother answered the door and smiled down at the corsage in his hands.

“She'll love that,” she said.

“I sure hope so,” he nodded.

He felt like he was winning her mother over a little more every day, but she was difficult to read.

Mary took a few more minutes to get ready, and he sat in the living room fidgeting and making small talk with her mother. Mary's mother Agnes was a tall, nondescript looking woman who wore plain secretary type clothing. She didn't smile very much, and he couldn't think of anyone who was less like Mary.

When Mary did enter the room, he almost fainted.

Her dress hugged her figure beautifully, and she looked stunning. The dress was ruby red, and you could see the shape of her narrow waist, full hips, and ample breasts; she looked ethereal.

Merle tried to look impressed without looking like he was going to ravish her in front of her own mother.

“Mary...you look so beautiful.”

She tilted her head with a shy shrug of her shoulders, and he noticed a little sprig of baby's breath in her dark hair.

“Thanks.”

Merle got to his feet, placed the corsage on her wrist, and her mother took their picture. Merle kept that picture in his wallet for the rest of his life.

/

Mary never felt so blissfully happy, even years later she'd remember it as one of the best moments of her life. When Merle got her alone in the car, he had to tell her what was really on his mind.

“You're the most beautiful girl I ever saw, honey. I'm so damn lucky you're mine.”

“You look so good too, Merle. I love your suit."

“I wanna spend my life with you, Mary.”

“Already?” she smiled, and her eyes sparkled in the dashboard lights.

“Promise you won't just dump me when you meet all those smarter guys in college. I can't join you in no college...I'll be back here doin' some dumbass job and scraping by, but I don't wanna lose you.”

“Merle, I'm not leaving you for anyone.”

“Good, cause you got me falling so hard for you I'd be a mess if you did. I'll try to measure up for you, but I'll need time to better myself.”

“Hey, I want you exactly the way you are. Don't ever change for me.”

“If you say so, honey,” he grinned.

/

The dance that night sealed everything for them. Mary glowed in the lights of the high school gymnasium like an angel. Merle loved her completely and hopelessly from that night onward, and it never faded, even when holding on to the past seemed ridiculous.

He held her as a slow song played, and everyone watched them in dismay, not that either of them really noticed. They both knew that nobody understood what they had, and neither of them cared. Their love existed in a world that was only ever fully understood by the two of them. They felt exactly the same inside, and they both knew it. They shared a beautiful unconditional love and understanding that they would never find elsewhere.

“How late are you allowed to stay out?” Merle asked.

He was desperate to know how much time he had with her.

“Midnight.”

“Can I take you to the lake after this?”

“I'd love that...this is a really special night for me. It's my first school dance.”

“It's special for me too, cause I got the prettiest girl in the whole damn school in my arms.”

“Stop it,” she giggled.

Merle loved the way she giggled when he poured on the compliments; he always wanted her to feel like a princess.

Daryl danced with Carol, and they spent some time chatting and goofing around as a foursome. Merle could see that Daryl got it now, Mary was a blast to hang out with. Once you got her talking, you could see how funny and clever she was.

/

By 9:30 Merle was eager to get her alone, and just one mention of how late it was was all it took for her to grab her shawl.

“Let's go,” she smiled.

Merle had bought condoms just in case it ever went that far, but he really wasn't looking to push anything. By his own reckoning, they'd be married someday, so he wasn't in any rush. He'd even wait for marriage if she wanted that, but he didn't suspect that it was what she wanted.

The lake was a little misty that evening, and the moon's glow shimmered off the surface of the water. Merle pulled up under the boughs of a willow tree near the water and turned up the radio.

“This evening has been magical, Merle, thank you.”

“It ain't even over yet,” he smiled, holding out his arm to draw her closer.

“Did you really think I'd leave you for some college guy?” she asked as she fidgeted with his fingers, that was her thing, and he liked it.

“I thought maybe you'd find them more interesting...those guys are more like you, they're smarter than me.”

“I don't care about that; I'll only ever want you.”

“I don't really get why, but I won't fight you on that,” he chuckled.

“You've made my world a beautiful place since you asked me out, Merle. I never thought anyone would love me the way you do...you make me feel so special.”

“You are special. You're all I can think about anymore. From the moment I wake up and all day long until I fall asleep at night. I keep dreaming of the future I wanna share with you, and I get so damn excited. I never had nothin' to be this excited about before, but you...I love you, Mary.”

Merle was running his fingertips up and down her arm and staring up at the stars through the windshield, and Mary loved him more than her own life in that moment.

“Merle?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you make love to me tonight?”

“You ready for that? I don't want you to regret nothing, and I can wait if you want to.”

Merle needed to check all the boxes before he got ahead of the moment.

“I could never regret anything with you, and I know that you'd wait as long as I need.”

“I really would, honey.”

“Come here,” she whispered as she lay back slowly on the seat and pulled him over her.

/

Merle was drowning in her touch and intoxicated by the scent of her skin and hair...he was in heaven.

The stars shined only for them that evening, the wind whispered affirmations of their love, and a vow was made between them that would never be broken.

Merle kissed her forehead, cheeks, and lips and swore to her that she was the only woman he'd ever love. He was 17, and she wasn't quite 16...it was the madness of youth, but it was an unmatched moment for both of them.

Years later, Mary still remembered every moment in beautiful flashbacks that haunted her. The way he moved so gently and kept asking if she was OK, his sweaty forehead, his face twisted in sweet ecstasy, the way it felt to have him joined with her body as one, nothing would ever come close to it.

It was simple and slow, but it was the best feeling in the world to be together because it was true love and they both knew it.

In Mary's arms, he wasn't just some punk kid who'd never have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, he was her dream man, and she believed he could move mountains. In Merle's arms, she was as beautiful as any starlet and so much more than some invisible girl with good grades.

Merle was so gentle that nothing hurt and she felt so safe in his arms, it was the kind of moment a girl hopes for but doesn't normally happen the first time. Everything about the first time they made love felt like it was making their love eternal, that they had become invincible together, that nothing could ever come between them.

_**##################** _

When the cruelty of life fell down around them, though, it left scars so deep that neither Merle or Mary would ever really be the same...

 

 

 

 


	8. I Can't Breathe Without You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah....I'm sorry:( this is just part of the story, and it's by no means the end of the story so please don't hate me and please keep reading. Love you, Teagan xoxo  
> P.S. I was listening to the song Georgia by Vance Joy when I wrote this and if you listen to that song you'll probably understand how this came out the way it did. lol

_ **Chapter 8** _

_ **I Can't Breathe Without You** _

A few weeks later, Merle got his first B in math, thanks to Mary, and he walked out of class feeling like a genius. He couldn't wait to find her; he had to tell her right away. All the good moments in life were better and all the bad moments were not so bad now that he had her.

Mary was sitting in the library when he found her, and he held out the exam like a 5-year-old with a painting from kindergarten.

“Look!”

Mary looked up from her books and there it was, that smile, the one that made his excitement so much sweeter.

“Lemme see!” she squealed, reaching for the paper. “Oh, babe! You did it!”

“We did it,” he grinned. “I think Mrs. Germaine almost fainted.”

“You sure showed her,” Mary winked. “I knew you could do it.”

“I wish I'd met you years ago; maybe I'd have a shot at college. I'll be lucky if I don't get drafted.”

“We'll run away to Canada before I let that happen.”

/

Mary's mother had gone away for the weekend recently to see her boyfriend in New York, and so they spent the weekend together pretending they were married, except when her aunt came to check on her, and he had to hide in the closet.

Mary made him supper, and they danced in the living room to record after record, it was the best weekend of his whole life. Daryl called and warned him that their dad was going to kick his ass when he came home Sunday night, but Merle couldn't care less. He had his girl alone for two whole days, and nothing was going to stop them being together.

/

They went out for a few hours after school to celebrate his good grade, and she told him over and over how proud she was of him. Mary said it didn't matter to her if he ever went to college, she wanted to marry him no matter what he did for a living. Merle couldn't help feeling like she was settling for a guy like him but he also knew he could never be happy without her, so he wasn't about to argue. 

Merle was just relaxing in his room that night thinking of Mary when his father came raging down the hall about getting a call at 'damn near midnight, god damn it'!.

“Relax!” Merle shot back as he got up to go answer the phone in the kitchen.

Merle never got calls so late, and he had no idea who it could be, he figured it was probably a wrong number.

“No more calls after 11!” Virgil growled.

“Why don't you at least think of something decent to be pissed about for once?” Merle yelled.

“You gettin' mouthy with me, boy?”

“Can't this wait till I'm off the damn phone?”

Virgil fired back with some profanity then stormed off back to his room.

“Hello?”

“Merle?”

It was Mary, and she was crying.

“What's wrong? Are you OK?”

“I'm not OK, and I'll never be OK again,” she sobbed.

“What's going on?” he pleaded.

“My mother...she says we're moving...to New York.”

“What? You can't!”

“I'm only 15...I don't think I have a choice. She says we're moving in with Jerry.”

Merle could feel himself becoming instantly desperate.

“We'll think of something, honey. Why the hell is she suddenly moving there to be with that idiot anyway?”

“He proposed to her when she went to see him for the weekend...he wants her to move in right away,” she exclaimed.

“But I need you,” he uttered.

There were no words for it; he was losing the only good thing in his life, the only thing he really wanted.

“I need you too...maybe I'll run away.”

“Honey...”

“What?”

“I don't know...”

He could feel the panic turn to mourning; there was just no realistic way out. They discussed getting married, but her mother would never allow it; she was still underage, so she needed parental consent. They tried to think of any possible way to avoid the impending storm, but there was nothing they could do. After endless tears and unrealistic plans, they decided instead to fight back with their determination.

“Maybe I could come back when I graduate...but I couldn't ask you to wait for me.”

“Of course I'll wait, Mary! I'll wait as long as it takes.”

“I still have another two years...and you have so much love in you, Merle.”

“That love is only for you, Mary. Never anyone but you.”

“This is hell...I love you so much. I can't imagine a single day without you.”

“You and me are meant to be together; I believe that...so I'll wait for you until the fuckin' world ends if that's what it takes.”

“Merle...I'll wait for you too.”

“Nothing can really keep us apart if it's meant to be, right?”

“Right.”

“Stop crying, honey...”

“You're crying too.”

“I know.”

“I'll write to you every week.”

“Me too...and I'll call you whenever I can. We're gonna make it, Mary.”

/

They made love as many times as they could before she left, but it was so bittersweet that it was more pain than pleasure. Crying while making love was a sickening kind of torture, but they were desperate to remember the taste of the other's kiss and every single sensation.

“I won't ever be with another girl, Mary. I'll try to move out there as soon as I graduate...maybe I could find a job in the big apple.”

“I can't breathe without you, Merle...you're the only boy who ever tried to see me for who I am.”

“I feel like I should tell you that you can be free, but I can't stand the idea of someone else touching you,” he said, and his voice cracked with emotion at the thought of it.

“Nobody ever will, Merle, I'm yours, and I don't care how long it takes till we're together again.”

“Me neither.”

/

The last day came quickly; Mary didn't even get to finish out the year with her class. Her mother had the car packed up, and the last of their belongings were loaded into the moving van.

Merle stayed with her all day until she had to leave and made her promise after promise that he'd never so much as look at another girl and that they'd be back together before she knew it.

“Do you want your pin back?” she asked, looking down at it, still pinned to her cardigan.

“No...I want that pinned to your clothing till you're an old woman,” he said. “In fact, I got something else I wanted you to have.”

Merle handed her a ring that cost him all of his savings from the drive-in. It was a sad attempt to keep their love protected; if another guy saw her wearing it, he'd see that she was 'taken.' Merle was haunted by thoughts of another guy asking her out, holding her hand, listening to her stories, making love to her. She was so amazing that he knew someone would notice and try to take her from him, he prayed that his love for her would be enough for her to say no.

“Oh my God...Merle.”

“I promise that you're the only girl I'll ever love, and this is a symbol of that. I'll be right here waiting for you, or I'll get a job up there as soon as I graduate, but either way, we'll be together soon.”

“I love you, Merle...always.”

“I love you too, Mary. I'm gonna love you till I die.”

She was called then by her mother to get in the car; they were running late. Merle kissed her one last time, and the last kiss was as salty as the first, but this time it was from tears and not popcorn. He let her go when he absolutely had to and stood in the street weeping like a kid as he watched her get into the car.

Mary's mother said briskly that she was sorry about their little 'relationship' but that they'd both forget all about it in a few months. She said that puppy love could be painful, but that it wasn't real love.

“Believe what you like, but someday I'll marry your daughter.”

“I'm afraid it's over now, Merle. Long distance relationships don't work out.”  

“I'll be the father of your grandchildren someday.”

“I do hope you manage to get over this soon, Merle. You'll find someone else I'm sure...someone more like you.”

He didn't have it in him to rage at her that Mary was made to be his and that she didn't really know anything about her own daughter; instead, he glared at her with hatred in his eyes.

Agnes walked away, and he vaguely thought of pushing her down and stealing her car with her daughter in it; maybe they could get to Mexico.

Mary had seen him as so much more than he really was, Mary had made him feel whole, and now he was so empty. He hoped that they could hold onto their love, but also feared that Mary might be better off without him. Doubts crept into his heart that his love wasn't enough for a girl with such a bright future ahead of her. 

Merle watched as the car drove away, followed by the moving van, and felt his heart dying. His lip trembled as he tried in vain to control himself but losing her  was much too painful for control.

 

 


	9. Trying to Escape the Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes downhill for Merle after trying to make it work with Mary long distance. Unfortunately, he allows Mary's mother's lies and his own poor self-esteem to ruin things, and he gives up on trying to hang onto her, thinking that she may be better off without him.   
> (Just a note that what Merle witnesses at Mary's new high school isn't what it appears to be, so don't hate her:)  
> The end of this chapter is intended to represent a bit of a tumble into madness for Merle, and it's represented in cluttered thoughts and the lyrics of the song on the radio. The bold text is the song playing, the italic is memories in his head, and the plain text is his current thoughts, etc. He is at rock bottom, and this is meant to show how lost he is in his jumbled thinking before the accident.

_ **Chapter 9** _

_ **Trying to Escape the Memories** _

 

The same nightmare came whenever he was weak to twist the knife and he was sick and tired of it. No amount of booze could ever erase Mary Bainbridge from his memory. 3 years had passed since Merle was forced to let Mary go and life had been falling apart steadily ever since.

His father was in prison for theft and Merle was stuck in the house he'd grown up in all alone now that Daryl had married Carol; she was carrying their first child already. Merle tried to find work in New York but he wasn't qualified for anything that would pay enough for him to live there. Working as a busboy wouldn't pay him enough to even rent a half-decent room in New York. He told Mary he didn't mind living somewhere crappy, but she didn't want him in a dangerous neighborhood living on beans and toast.

Merle and Mary wrote letters for the whole first year and he called whenever he could until the day Mary's mother answered and told him that Mary had moved on. He didn't believe it at first but her mother insisted that Mary had been broken over them being apart and that she had met someone new and had a chance to start over.

“Don't you want her to be happy, Merle?”

“She loves me, Mrs. Bainbridge, and I still love her as much as I ever did.”

“It's Mrs. Thomas now,” she corrected. “You know, every time she gets off the phone with you or reads one of your letters she cries herself into a fit. That's not love, Merle.”

“She cries cause she misses me, I cry too.”

“This is hurting her and there's a new boy who likes her a lot. Why don't you let her go so maybe she can be happy.”

“Why didn't you let her stay so she could be happy?”

“If you love her, you'll give her some space to let her think it through. I'm hanging up now, do not call back..”

Merle slammed the phone down then and he screamed in frustration at her refusal to take what they had seriously.

Merle never stopped writing to Mary, but she did stop sending letters back after that blow up with her mother.

He managed to take a trip to New York with some guys from work shortly after that phone call, they wanted to see the big city and he wanted to find Mary. Merle wanted to hear it from her that it was over, otherwise he'd never believe it. When he did locate her, she was sitting outside her new high school with a clean cut looking guy who was making her laugh. Merle watched as the guy wrapped an arm around her back and it looked to him like he really was too late.

What would he say to her if he just walked up to her then? Would it just bring her pain?

He decided that she looked happy and maybe he should just let her go, maybe that's what love really was.

/

Merle drank a lot and was in a dark mood ever since that day. He didn't even try to date anyone else since the last time that he'd kissed Mary and Daryl told him he was insane to be hanging onto it. Nobody understood what they'd had together, nobody ever would. He had been just a worthless son of a drunk until she fell in love with him and she had been an invisible nerd until he loved her. They raised each other up above who they thought they were, above the lies that society had made them believe about themselves. Mary wasn't a nameless dork with no dress sense and he wasn't a moron who'd never amount to more than his father's bad name, but only they could see that in each other. Merle didn't believe that anyone would ever see him the way Mary had and that love was over for him.

The night that everything changed for Merle came on a cold November evening when he had gotten wasted at a bar all alone. 1963 was a year that floated by for Merle and he had nothing in his life to show for the passage of time except drinking, depression, and the occasional run in with the law.

He could still taste her sweet skin, see her clear as day in that red dress, remember the way it felt to possess her that first time...it wouldn't stop no matter what he did.

He had a bottle of whiskey between his knees in the car that night and rain fell hard on the windshield obstructing his view. The night it all changed was as black as they came.

He was swerving a little over the center line but he barely noticed as he drove along the dirt roads out of boredom.

Merle turned on the radio and wiped his hand across the steamed up windshield in a vain attempt to see better.

There were no streetlights on the dirt road and the sky was a starless black that felt so appropriate. Merle did this almost every weekend now. He'd get paid from his construction job, buy enough whiskey to black out, and cruise the streets trying to escape the memories.

The radio started to play a song he hadn't heard since that day with Mary in her bedroom and he growled to himself in agony.

__**Alone, so alone that I could cry  
I want to be wanted   
Alone, watching lovers passing by  
I want to be wanted...**

  
He couldn't help smiling a little when he remembered the way she had sunk down onto his lap and came apart from barely any contact at all. The way she shuddered in his arms...

  
_I can feel your kiss everywhere...That's right, honey....feel good?...You make me want things I've never wanted before, Merle...You got me, Mary. I'll give you everything I have...you're my girl, right?... Merle, I'm not leaving you for anyone... Good, cause you got me falling so hard for you I'd be a mess if you did..._

__**Just my lonely heart knows how  
I want to be wanted   
Not tomorrow, but right now  
I want to be wanted  
  
I want someone to share my laughter and my tears with  
Someone I know I'd love to spend a million years with  
Where is this someone somewhere meant for me?**

_**  
** _ _You're all I can think about anymore. From the moment I wake up, all day long until I fall asleep at night. I keep dreaming of the future I wanna share with you and I get so damn excited...Merle?....Yeah?...Will you make love to me tonight?_

  
  


He wondered who was holding her now, who was kissing her lips. Who was the lucky bastard who got to call her his girl? Merle closed his eyes for just a moment and swore he could still taste her salty lips from that first night at the drive-in. Merle had been her first kiss, but now she was kissing someone new; he wondered if she could still remember it too...

By the time Merle noticed he was way over the center line and about to hit an oncoming car it was much too late. His final thought was that death could bring the peace he needed so badly.

 

 


	10. Father Murphy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merle meets someone who will change things for the better:)

_ **^Chapter 10** _

_ **Father Murphy** _

 

When his eyes opened, Merle only felt a deep sense of disappointment at still being alive. Being alive meant that he'd have to keep missing her and messing up his life. He thought that life had hit rock bottom, but the news was much worse than he thought.

A priest was sitting in the corner of the room smoking a pipe, and he stared at the man, waiting for him to realize he was awake.

“Oh! Look who's awake,” the priest said when he realized that Merle was conscious.

Merle groaned when he tried to move in bed, and that's when he realized that both of his legs were in casts.

“Jesus!”

“That's right; you're pretty banged up. So is the family you almost killed.”

“What?”

An icy chill ran down Merle's spine when it dawned on him that the other car hadn't yet entered his mind. He dreaded the details, but he also had to know.

“A family of four that was on the way home from a late night wedding celebration...the little girl only just woke up yesterday.”

“Shit!”

Merle tried to sit up, but he couldn't move, all he could do was lay there as it dawned on him that life got so much uglier than missing the woman he loved. He felt lower than dirt and helpless to do anything about it. The idea that he had hurt a child made him feel ill, and he hated the inescapable truth.

“But none of them are dead?” he asked.

“They all survived. The little girl's parent's spent the last two days thinking their 7-year-old would die...but they survived.”

“Hey, I'm sorry,” Merle shot back. “I never meant for this to happen!”

“You were driving drunk like a blithering idiot and almost killed four people! Don't you dare get snotty with me, son!”

“Sorry.”

“You will be. When you see the swollen and bruised up face of that beautiful child. I had to listen to her parents cry until you woke your ass up!”

“Why are you even here? I ain't Catholic,” Merle defended as if it was any defense.

“I'm here because even you have a chance to get right with the Lord and because you're young...something made you get in that car and do this careless, terrible thing.”

“I ain't talking about that.”

“You will. Confession is in session, and this is step number one. I knew your mother and your useless father, and I'll be damned if I'm letting you end up like them.”

Merle sighed and vaguely remembered his father mentioning a priest who had tried to help his mother with her drinking.

“Father Murphy?”

“The very same. So tell me, my son, what makes a young man like you turn into a drunk just like his mother and nearly kill an entire family?”

“You really like rubbing that in, don't you?”

“No. I just don't want the gravity of this to escape you for a single second until that child has recovered.”

“It was all about Mary...it's always been about Mary,” Merle sighed.

Maybe getting it off his chest was the only way he could become free of her once and for all.

“A girlfriend?”

“More than that. Mary was the only girl I'll ever love. I lost her three years ago now, and it won't stop hurting no matter what I do.”

“Drinking to escape,” Father Murphy nodded.

“Nothing works. I think maybe I was trying to kill myself, just to get the pain to stop.”

“What's so special about this one girl?”

“She was everything. We were made for each other, but her mom moved her away...eventually her mom said she found someone new and then she stopped returning my letters.”

“Just find someone new.”

“Not interested.”

“The world is full of nice girls, Merle.”

“I don't care! In three years I haven't so much as kissed another girl and I don't plan to either. I want Mary and I ain't settling for anyone else.”

“But she moved on, son.”

“That's up to her, but I made a promise, and I just can't seem to want anyone else...I've tried. Now I don't even deserve love after what I did.”

“Jesus will forgive you.”

“Why would he? You said yourself that I almost killed a child.”

“If you seek forgiveness with an open heart and accept the Lord into your life, even you can be forgiven.”

“I'm not Catholic, though.”

Father Murphy took a piece of paper from between the pages of his bible and wrote down a number and the address of his church.

“I want you to come and see me when you're released. You can come back from this, Merle.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so. And rest assured that if you don't come find me, I'll find you.”

“You're a weird priest.”

“Very true. I lost the battle with your mother, but I'm not losing it with you.”

/

Merle was visited by Daryl and Carol that evening, and it was emotionally draining trying to keep it together. He was ashamed and knew that reclaiming his life would be an uphill battle.

“It was a horrible crash...but the girl is alive,” Daryl said, trying to mitigate the pain.

“I still put those people through hell, Daryl.”

“Go and see Father Murphy,” Carol pleaded. “You need help to get over Mary, and he can help you.”

Merle knew that she was right, but he never imagined himself seeking help at a church before.

/

That night, Merle lay in his hospital bed and didn't believe he'd ever get over Mary; the truth was that he didn't want to give up hope, but he knew he had to.

Hell was well under way when it really hit Merle that all he could do was lay there and think while his legs healed. He thought of the family he had impacted, he thought of Mary as always, he thought of what had happened to his life in the last couple of years, and he knew he had to make a real change. Letting go of Mary was the only way to carry on, and he owed it to the family he hurt to become the best version of himself that he could. Merle was determined after many hours of silent contemplation; he was going to change everything and stop looking back in time.

 

 

 


	11. Go and Be Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to post some extra chapters because I'm going away from Monday-Thursday camping so it may be harder to post in a camper. lol  
> Thanks for reading this odd, sad, quirky story.  
> Love, Teagan xoxo  
> P.S. This is an odd story for me cause I'm an agnostic. lol but I have a huge amount of respect for religious people (I was just raised by non-believers so I never went to church)  
> This was the first part of the story to come to me and almost immediately after the rest of it came as well. Next chapter is tomorrow and it's a reunion!!! :)

_ **^Chapter 11** _

_ **Go and Be Happy** _

 

 _Soul of Christ, make me holy  
Body of Christ, be my salvation  
Blood of Christ, let me drink your wine  
Water flowing from the side of Christ, wash me clean  
Passion of Christ, strengthen me  
Kind Jesus, hear my prayer  
Hide me within your wounds  
And keep me close to you  
Defend me from the evil enemy  
And call me at the hour of my death  
To the fellowship of your saints  
That I might sing your praise with them _ _for all eternity. Amen._

 

Words like these filled Merle's mind in the hospital as he skimmed through the bible in his bedside table. He was desperately in search of answers and had a funny feeling he'd found them in this book. He wanted to be cleansed, he wanted to be healed and here was a book offering him just that.

With so much time to think and to wallow in the guilt of what happened, Merle made some extreme decisions. He hadn't had any physical contact with any woman since Mary and knew that he didn't want anyone but her, maybe he could do something incredible with his life. He went to see Father Murphy immediately after he was discharged and told him his mind was made up about his future.

Merle gave his life to the church when he was able to walk again, and he refused to look back. The little girl he had harmed was named Julia Francis, and he worked hard for the forgiveness of her family and received it surprisingly quickly. They saw the way he had reformed himself and given his life over to God, and they praised his determination to make the world a better place.

Merle studied the bible constantly, told himself that his love for Mary had led him to nothing but pain, and worked day and night to become a priest. Father Murphy had been shocked by Merle's decision to join the holy order but didn't fight him on his path. He had a feeling that in time Merle would see the light.

“You're welcome to stay while you figure things out, Merle. I won't give up on you no matter what you decide.”

“It's the only way I can make things right now. The way I loved her was dangerous...and it's over now anyway.”

“Take your time and think it all through, son.”

“Thanks, Father. I feel at peace here at the church.”

When he dreamed of Mary, dreams of her never stopped, he'd pray to ease the pain and move on with his day. He fought his love for her daily out of guilt for where that love had led him and devoted his life to other people.

Merle was determined to make everything right in his world and six months after the accident; he was getting closer all the time.

He still had difficulty walking and used a cane, but he was grateful for being able to walk at all. Over time he became very close with Father Murphy and sought his counsel on many different matters about life and God.

“How do you never want a woman?” he asked him once when he had been thinking of Mary a little too much.

“I remind myself of my vows and that I am called to a higher purpose. I am satisfied by what I can offer to others, but this is not the life for everyone. Do you still struggle, my son?”

“No...well, sometimes.”

“I told you that you don't need to become a priest to be absolved in the eyes of God, you remember me telling you that?”

“Of course.”

“Have you ever considered looking for this woman that you loved?”

“I'm sure she's over it, probably doesn't even miss me now.”

“That doesn't sound very likely by the way you described your relationship.”

“It's over now, and anyway, that love brought me nothing but pain and trouble. Loving her so much led to destructive behavior for me.”

/

Father Murphy never got anywhere with Merle when he tried to convince him that maybe he was following the wrong path, but he kept trying when it came up. He didn't want to push him away when he was still so unsteady, and he'd made a vow not to let him fall through the cracks the way his mother had.

He kept teaching him the ways of the church and decided that maybe listening to the sins of others would show him that everyone was flawed and could be forgiven without becoming priests or nuns. Hearing confession seemed like an easy way to show Merle that everyone was human and flawed.

“I want you to sit in with me on confession today.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I think it would be good for you to experience.”

“Thank you, Father. I bet I'll learn a lot.”

Later that afternoon, Merle sat on the other side of the confessional next to Father Murphy and listened as grandmothers, teenagers and 'average Joes' gave confession. It was all pretty run of the mill, lies, jealous thoughts, some lustful desires, and petty theft. It wasn't until he heard a voice that he recognized that he stopped cold and everything changed.

/

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been a year since my last confession.”

“Go ahead, my child.”

“I'm lost in life right now... and you are probably the last person I should speak to.”

“How can that be?”

“There is a very good chance that you know who I'll be speaking about, and what I have to confess is terrible.”

“Speak freely, and you shall be absolved,” Father Murphy insisted.

“I moved back here from New York to study at the University of Georgia and...I wanted to find a man that I loved when I was younger.”

“And did you find him?” he asked.

“Yes. I was walking down Main Street just to get a feel for the city again...and there he was, just like he was placed there for me to see. My heart melted completely in that moment, and I watched as he spoke to someone I didn't know. I was right back in high school and still madly in love, I always have been, but then he turned around, and I realized that I couldn't have him back.”

“Is the man married?”

Merle knew from the moment she spoke that it was Mary and was trying to hold back his tears as he listened to her voice, he knew damn well it was him that she was speaking of.

“He's a priest...I came back here too late. I didn't even know he was Catholic!”

“What is the sin you wish to confess, my child?”

“Rage. I want to confess that I'm angry at the church for stealing this man from me. I could almost handle losing him to another woman if she loved him as much as I do...but he doesn't belong in the priesthood.”

“How do you know that he isn't suited to the priesthood?” he asked.

“Because of how he touched me...how he loved me and how he changed my life forever. I haven't been able to love anyone but him for all this time and now I'll never have him back.”

“If this man has chosen to give his life to God and to serve his fellow man, then it is not the church you ought to be angry with.”

“I know, but I can't be angry at him...I still love him too much. I loved him from the start in a way I could never love anyone else, and it never got easier. I never stopped aching for him...I feel like I'm in hell, Father.”

Merle got up and walked out of the booth, his face was red, and his eyes were filled with tears. He wanted her so badly, but he had sworn to the family that he wronged that he would give his life to the church as penance.

/

“Father?”

“I'm still here, my child.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

Father Murphy had no answers for the young woman; he knew damn well that she was Merle's love and that they were meant to be together.

“Uh...say three Hail Marys and four Our Fathers.”

“That's all?”

“And come to church this Sunday. OK? Promise me.”

“OK? I'm staying at the old hotel until my new apartment is ready, but I'll be here.”

Father Murphy got up after closing the confession with all customary prayers and blessings and went after Merle.

/

“Merle...Merle...hey!”

Father Murphy chased him to the rectory and ushered him into a room to get his take on it.

“What am I supposed to do?” Merle repeated, pacing the floor and wringing his hands.

Merle could feel it all again, and he wanted her more than ever before.

“Merle...you belong with this woman, we both know that.”

“I made a vow to Julia and her family that I'd become a good person,” he sighed.

“You are! You don't have to be a priest to serve others, to find God's love and forgiveness and to be a good person! You know what you need to do, Merle.”

“I do?”

“Get out of here and go find that young woman. I'll speak with the Francis family, and I know they'll understand...you cannot live for them, Merle. You have to live for yourself.”

“That sounds pretty selfish.”

“Love is never selfish when it's true, and this woman loves you dearly. I know you still love her too.”

“I do. We were soul mates right from the start.”

“Then get moving and take that collar off.”

Merle ran out of the room to grab his stuff and go after her until he realized that he had no idea where she was.

When he popped his head back in the room, Father Murphy was rolling his eyes at his excitement.

“She's staying at the old hotel.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“Go, my son. Go and be happy.”

 

 

 


	12. We Made It...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story I wanted to tell here was of an unlikely teenage couple, the popular boy, and a nerdy girl. A relationship that nobody believes in but them and when they face a monumental challenge of separation, depression and everything else that happens they still love each other. Merle and Mary never stray from what they had as teenagers, they keep the vows they made to each other even when it seems hopeless. That story is told, and beyond that, I'm not sure what else I could tell.   
> I'm sorry if this seems abrupt, I could have dragged out the separation perhaps but it didn't seem necessary, and I didn't like them being apart:( Also, I was going to make the reunion smutty but it just didn't fit, some chapters are not made for the word dick. lol   
> Thanks for reading! I appreciate that more than I can express:)   
> I'll be posting more of 'Hurtin' and 'The Archer and the Widow' over the next few days while I'm on holiday.

_ **^Chapter 12** _

_ **We Made It** _

Merle was so excited that he could barely function. The idea of just seeing her face again would be enough, but to know that she still loved him was overwhelming. She was still his girl, through all the time and space between them, she was still his girl. Miracles were real, and the gates of heaven were opening to allow him back inside. He was clean and sober, rejuvenated from months of prayer and introspection, and ready to be her man again.

 

He changed his clothes quickly, washed up and grabbed his coat and wallet in less than 5 minutes before heading out the front door of the church. His hands shook and his eyes teared up at the thought of touching her again...she was all he ever wanted. Merle wondered what she looked like now, surely she looked different, but he hoped she still had those glasses.

The drive to the old hotel was a blur, but soon he was there, so he parked up on Main Street and tried to steady his nerves. He walked in and asked the lady behind the counter which room she was in.

“Is she expecting you, Sir?”

“Yes,” he lied.

“Room 415.”

“Thanks.”

Merle took the elevator to the fourth floor and knocked before he could become too nervous. 

“Just a second!”

It was her. She was just on the other side of the door, and he could feel his heart beating funny in his chest. When she opened the door, Merle barely recognized her.

“Mary.”

“...Merle.”

Her glasses were different; they were thinner and smaller than before. Her hair was up, and she was in a red suit; a pencil skirt and a blazer with a white dress shirt underneath. She looked...stunning and so grown up.

“How did you know where I am?” she asked.

She looked happy to see him but surprised.

“It's a long story...can I come in?”

“Of course.”

Merle walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed. She was taking his breath away and reducing him to raw emotion.

“I don't know why everything happened the way it did. I don't know why you stopped writing back. All I know is that I love you as much as I ever did and it never stopped for me. All I ever wanted was you, right from that first night at the drive-in, and when you were gone, I lost my damn mind.”

“My mother kept taking the letters you sent me and told me that you had a new girlfriend. I only just found the letters she kept from me recently in the attic and I confronted her about it...it was a huge fight. I called a few times, but your dad just hung up on me, he sounded drunk...I didn't know what to do.”

“Are you serious? Your mother told me you had a new man too...is that true?”

“I have a good friend named Tyresse, but there was never anything romantic between us. Are you really a priest?”

Merle just looked at her perfect face, and he loved her the same as always.

“I did something terrible...I was studying to become a priest because I thought I owed the rest of my life for the mistake I made and nothing meant anything to me without you.”

“I heard about the accident; people still gossip as much as they used to around here. Are you staying with the church?”

“No. Father Murphy damn near pushed me out the door.”

She smiled then, that same sweet smile.

“Why?”

“Cause he knows I don't belong there...he knows how much I still love you.”

“I still love you too.”

“Mary...”

Merle reached for her, and all of the past was gone...all of the bad parts anyway.

“I never thought I'd touch you again,” she sobbed as she was pulled against him and surrounded by his love.

“Me neither...but I never stopped wanting you. You were the only girl I ever loved, and you still are.”

She was overcome and trembling in his arms; it was almost like no time had passed.

“I haven't even kissed another woman since you, honey...but if you were with someone else I'd never judge you,” he clarified.

“I did go on a date that my mother pressured me into, but I told him that my heart wasn't free and I never saw him again. You were the last person I kissed, Merle.”

It was impossible that she was standing right in front of him and yet the reality of her perfect face was staggering.

“I want you back, Mary...I need you back with me.”

“Of course...come here.”

Her hand came out and touched his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning his face against her hand...Merle Dixon was home. Her touch fanned the flames that had been diminished over time but never died completely.

“I have to have you now,” he breathed as he took a step closer and pulled her against him.

“You better take me now before I go crazy...I missed you so badly...it hurt for so long,” she whimpered as he brought his mouth in to kiss her neck.

Merle unfastened a clip in her dark hair, and it fell loose around her shoulders. He threaded his fingers into her hair and just inhaled the sweet scent of her, and it was powerful beyond words.

They moved toward the bed, and she pulled his shirt out of his pants and went for his belt with eager hands. Merle almost died as her little warm hand slid down into his boxers and closed around his dick. A deep growl left his throat like a threat from an angry dog; he needed to get inside her. He tore her blazer from her body and began on the series of buttons down her blouse. 

Merle could still see the car pulling away in his mind, but it was over now. He had her back in his arms and back in his life; everything was good again.

“I still remember the first time you kissed me,” she whispered as he lay her out on the bed and pulled off his shirt.

“I remember everything honey...” 

It was then that he noticed a cheap, worn ring on her ring finger and he almost lost it.

“You still have the ring,” he said, taking her hand in his to look at it closer.

“I've only taken it off once since you put it there...I had surgery, and they made me take it off,” she smiled.

“Surgery, are you OK?” he asked.

“I had my tonsils removed,” she laughed. “That's the only time I took it off since you put it on my hand, Merle.”

“You're really still my girl,” he uttered.

“Always, Merle...I'm always gonna be your girl.”

/

In no time they were stripped and tearing up as she pulled him under the covers with her. His hands on her waist were so strong, and she could feel his masculine power all over her. Mary wanted to kiss every inch of his body, but the excitement was so high that they were just a tangle of arms, legs, and emotions. He was over her and looking down into her eyes just like always like she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. Merle loved her like nobody else ever could, and as he pulled her legs up around his waist, there was only one thing she could think of.

“Marry me,” she breathed.

“Huh?”

“Marry me...I want to be your wife.”

“You beat me to it, I was going to ask you,” he grinned.

“I said 'I love you' first too,” she reminded him.

“I remember, honey. I remember everything...that's why I could never even dream of getting over you.”

“Me neither.”

Merle kissed her neck and ran his hand down her body to her hip then buried his face between her breasts again, those huge perfect breasts. Entering her again was slow and sweet, and she moaned in emotional release, clutching his face in her hands.

“We made it,” she hissed.

“We made it, honey. 

/

Merle and Mary were married by Father Murphy within the month. The only people who attended were Daryl and Carol with baby Sophia; Mary was no longer on speaking terms with her mother. 

Mary finished college, earning a degree in education and going on to become a high school English teacher. Merle found work as a truck driver, and they were happy together in their own little world where they made complete sense to themselves. Nothing and no one would ever keep them apart; they were destined to be together right from the beginning.

Some love stories are easy, the road they travel is smooth and without a detour. Other love stories face challenges that lead you to question everything; a love that survives such challenges can last beyond time itself, and for Merle and Mary it did. 

 

 

 


End file.
